stealing, mashing, and the sexless inkeeper

since Katherine hasn't posted her Glee recap, i'll say a little something about it here...but first we have other business to attend to.

1. Project Runway wedding dress challenge.

now, i don't read comments on blogs very often - i barely have time to read my like, three blogs already - and so i didn't delve into the morass over at TLo (Project Rungay) to see if anyone over there realized what i did - that the wedding dress challenge was stolen directly from Project Runway Canada.

PR Canada has always been PR's sad cousin. it's pretty low-budg, and it's set in either Montreal or Toronto, i don't remember. maybe Ottowa? they're all the same to me. anyway, regardless of this, it is still reliably entertaining. there's everything we love about Project Runway...plus IMAN! if Tim Gunn were on the show, it would be pretty perfect, because i hate their lame Canadian mentor, but Iman makes up for it by being awesome, super knowledgeable (as opposed to Heidi confusing rabbit ears and cinnamon buns, for example), and by sharing anecdotes about David Bowie. so - PR Canada is a sad cousin, but not as sad as ANTM when compared with Britain's Next Top Model, where the contestants win actual prizes each week and there's not the giant narcissistic Tyraphant in the room.

but last week, on American PR, they 100% ripped off a challenge from the most recent season of PR Canada. i couldn't really believe it. not that it wasn't a good challenge (reimagine the wedding dress of a divorcee), or that i have a problem with them recycling challenges from previous seasons (anything to break the boredom of lame LA challenges), but there was no credit given to PR Canada. not on the show, not on TLo or Jezebel. was i the only one who missed Project Runway enough when it was in limbo to track down PR Canada online (it wasn't that hard.)? i guess so.

anyhow, here it is: fuck the new Real World producers and their stupid decisions to keep Logan around and to steal challenges without giving credit. this could have been a great opportunity to maybe have Sunny, the designer whose transformed wedding dress is pictured above, as a judge...to tie the two shows together. but no. where's the innovation, guys? i should have Michael rip you a new one.

2. Glee mashups.

awesome! this show is demented. Jane Lynch's character is incredible, and now that she's co-running glee club, things are gonna get zoppity. oh, and can we all agree that Mr. Shu's wife should die in an awful and painful way before the season is up? she is the worst, and no one would be sad if she died. no one. that's all i've really got to say, except that now that i've really got a taste, i want more Artie the wheelchair kid! his voice is amazing - i loved his performance on It's My Life/Confessions (Bon Jovi? i say very yes), and it's really great to hear someone besides Finn soloing. that's all for now, cause there's more Glee tonight, and hopefully Kate can find the time to do an actual recap soon.

3. The Sexless Inkeeper...

may be the best episode title ever. "it's a poem, Barney." also, hooray for keeping Ted where he belongs - in the background, sexlessly tending the inn.

ok, i'm officially going to be referring to Tyra Banks as the Tyraphant from now on. it's like tyrant and elephant rolled into one, which is just SO Tyra(phant).

Glee Recap: The Series So Far

Just the facts:
Glee is an hour long television show on Fox. Its pilot episode aired after the season finale of American Idol last spring in an attempt to garner an audience. Fox picked up the show for a full season only after Glee began gaining momentum over the summer with internet buzz and two episodes had aired, retaining more than half of the 9.6 million viewers who tuned in after American Idol. Here's why:


1. It's High School Musical. But it's not. (But it still sort of is.)
The show's star characters are a committed drama/choir geek and a handsome sports star that have a secret attraction to each other. But she's the type-A, fame chasing daughter of two gay fathers who stands up to the Celibacy Club and he's a football player who thinks of a traumatic car crash with a mail man to prevent ejaculation when canoodling with his virginal cheerleader girlfriend. The supporting student cast is a veritable after-school special on diversity, from a stuttering Asian girl to a kid in a wheelchair. But the football best friend runs a pool cleaning business where all that's being snaked are the soccer mom's pipes, and the fastidious gay fashionista gets dumpstered every morning. What's appealing are the cut and dry high school archetypes and the scrubbed cleanliness of the fake high school set dressing and costumes. What cuts through the saccharine wholesomeness of this world are the dirty jokes, the deadpan snappy dialogue, and the Ugly Betty-esque pop culture freshness. But, rounding third, we will inevitably return again to feel good-y revelations that ring more truthfully and hold more satisfaction than any Disneyed universe.

2. The show owes its tone, pacing, and structure to Election.
Acapella vocal underscoring, inner monologue voice overs, backstory montages, and cut-to close ups as punctuation. The pilot episode, while of course different in content and style, pulled so much from Election that I had to watch it again to make sure it wasn't wishful thinking.


3. The songs.
Kind of a no brainer, but everyone loves musicals now. But, like, only pop ones. Glee is doing a really good job of choosing songs that at the beginning were pure pop and sneaking in the Broadway. After this week's episode that featured Kristen Chenoweth and that little famous number from Cabaret, I think that we'll see more and more musical theater numbers thrown in there with the pop. Especially as Brian Lynch, the show's creator and producer, has said that he wants equal time for both pop and musicals. We'll see.

And I can't not mention the dancing. The lift at 0:21 in the following video I have seen with a Broadway choreographer and performed by two super talented dancers and it's incredibly difficult. These people know what they're doing.





4. To quote Tevye, "Tra-di-SHUUUUUN! Good guest stars!"
The American public has learned, through years of The Muppet Show, Friends, and 30 Rock, that good TV is made by good guest stars. While Glee has had to bust out the big guns early (see: Episode Five, guest starring Kristen Chenoweth of Broadway's Wicked and ABC's Pushing Daisies) they are still some formidable guns. In addition to Jane Lynch (as Coach Sue of the Cheerios, the high school's cheerleaders who have been written up in the sports pages of USA Today - twice!) we have Stephen Tobolowsky in a recurring guest spot as Sandy Ryerson the former Glee Club director, both of whom frequently guest on others programs. For the lay people we have Josh Groban as himself, Eve, and Sarah Drew (from Wonderfalls.) The crossovers include the aforementioned Kristen Chenoweth, whose awesome recurring role on The West Wing I would be remiss in not mentioning, and Victor Garber. The insiders include stars Matthew Morrison from the original casts of Hairspray playing the leader of the motley kids of Glee, Mr. Schuster, and Light in the Piazza (a Tony nominated performance), and Lea Michele from the sensation (and sensational) Spring Awakening as the super driven star singer Rachel Berry, as well as guest stars Debra Monk (as Mr. Schuster's mom) who was most recently seen in Curtains and John Lloyd Young (as the shop teacher who joins Mr. Schuster's boy band, Acafellas) who won a Tony for his performance as Frankie Valli in the hit Jersey Boys. In other words, Glee knows its audience. And, although Kristen Chenoweth's guest spot was grating at times, it was fun to see her get all drunk and trashy - even though she looked pristine while doing it.



Weaknesses:
Every show's got em. Glee's are the sometimes unbelievable script, the trying-too-hard dialogue, and Mr. Schuster's crazy for no reason wife. I think Glee can pull it out and make it stick, at least for a whole season and hopefully at least one more. I don't think this is a long-laster, but I think it will be tons of shameless fun while we can get it.


I'll give everyone a catchup blurb after tomorrow night's episode with my recap. I'm going to try to get them out as soon after the show airs as possible, but inevitably that will be Monday, my only day off from work. It'll be fun!

Watch Glee!

Lauren's Helpful Guide to TV Premiere Season, Part II

here you go, guys - my rundown of the best shows that premiered this week, helpfully sorted into categories. what's a rundown, Jim? THIS is a rundown.

YOU MUST WATCH THIS SHOW:

How I Met Your Mother. i love this show. kate loves this show. both the title and the address of this blog are references to this show. and as time goes on, it just keeps getting better. i've found that many people are reluctant to start watching HIMYM, and that it's generally Ted's fault. Ted is the worst. it sucks that he's the main character of this show, because if there was more of a balance, like on Friends, then he wouldn't be stuck with the main storyline a lot of the time. HOWEVER, the writers and producers seem to have finally realized that people are tuning in for Barney and Robin and Marshall and Lily...and more Barney. we'll get back to Ted in a second, but i wanted to address the Barney and Robin relationship issue. they faced a similar problem as Chuck and Blair - how to deal with an unusual (read: womanizing man and strong, independent woman) couple finally getting together after seasons of will-they/won't-they. and i feel like the writers and actors handled the problem with great aplomb. it makes sense for the characters that neither Robin or Barney would want to define the relationship when they've finally found something that makes them happy. but it also makes sense that at some point they would need that definition in order to put an end to destructive assumptions. and that's where Lily comes in:

thankfully, Ted was relegated to a lame B-storyline and the rest of the cast was allowed to shine. and the thing is, Ted is actually much more enjoyable as a supporting character:

i have to say, although i love Barney's gremlin rule, Marshall's line is the best thing in that scene. anyway, you clearly must watch this show. and if you haven't seen it before, go back and watch it from the beginning - the continuous inside jokes are half the fun.

Bored To Death. this is a new show on HBO, starring Jason Schwarzman as a writer who is having trouble finishing his second novel. he picks up an old Raymond Chandler book and then decides to start moonlighting as an unlicensed private detective. here's the preview:

it's really quite excellent, as you (or at least I) might expect. Zach Galifianakis is a miracle, all comedy and pathos with a magnificent beard thrown in.

i believe this one is going to be around for a while, so start watching now so you don't have to catch up later.

Dollhouse. man, and i thought Fringe was getting good. Dollhouse is going places, quickly, and you'll want be around for the ride. Joss Whedon really is a master at what he does, and what he does is amazing television. i can't go into details without giving things away, but i will say that this show has unfolded with each episode and made me like it more and more. action, comedy, hotness, intrigue, moral quandaries...mostly-excellent acting...i want more. and i recently found a lost episode on Sidereel, an epilogue of sorts, that is really worth watching. i am truly hoping that Fox stays with this one, but since it's still stuck on Friday nights, i'm concerned.

You SHOULD Be Watching This Show, Simply To Improve Your Quality of Life:

Psych. yes, i know that Psych premiered a while ago, but i've been wanting to write about it and so it's going here. i love this show. i will readily admit that much of my love comes from Dule Hill, who plays Gus. he was often required to be serious on The West Wing, but here Hill can cut loose with singing, dancing, and general hilarity. i think he often steals the show, but i also like the main dude, Shawn, and the detectives, and Corbin Bernson. the premise is pretty hilarious (it's set in Santa Barbara! that alone makes me laugh.), and i enjoy lighthearted takes on crime procedurals (see Castle). mostly, this show is just a lot of fun, and you can drop in at any time without having to know much backstory. plus: they're like J.D. and Turk, but without all the bromance.

Castle. starring Nathan Fillion, Castle is about a popular detective novel-writer who follows around a NYPD homicide squad in order to get material for his new series, based on the female lead detective in the squad. this show is pretty fluffy, but Nathan Fillion is hot, sexy, funny, and hot. and the show is kind of interesting in a detective novel kind of way. the relationship between Castle and Detective Beckett (i love her name) could really go to some awesome, nasty, honest places. i'm avoiding discussing some of the other crime procedurals i watch (SVU, CSI, Law & Order, Numb3rs) because they don't focus so much on character development and thus are tedious and repetitive to recap. you're welcome. anyway, Castle is worth checking out, if only for the laughs and the man-candy.

Watch This Show If You Have Time, And Energy:

House. last season i got so sick of House that i almost didn't watch the premiere. but i did, and was pleasantly surprised. getting House out of the monotonous and predictable diagnostic format and into a mental institution was a good move. the episode was funny and multifaceted and showcased a whole new talented cast (woo, Famke Janssen!). i hoped House would stay a while...but no, just a two hour episode and it's back to the (medical) hospital. i'll keep watching for now, but the minute it bores me i'm off for more interesting pastures.

Heroes. This show has always been kind of a lame lame duck. mediocre acting and a similar "we're all connected" concept as Lost have brought this show down, but i think the ultimate problem, up to now, is that each season builds to one major disaster...and at the end of each season, disaster is averted. for the first season, that was ok (also, there was much more of happy awesome Hiro, who we all know is the best). second season was a major fail, and by last season i was bored and pissed about all the awesome heroes and powers they continued to introduce and then kill (Elle!). this season is...not looking much better. i hate the Sylar inside Parkman's head, and i hate that girl who plays Clare's friend. so again, we'll see how much longer this show will be worth my time.

Flash Forward. at first glance, this show looks pretty good. awesome cast (Joseph Fiennes, John

Cho, Penny from Lost) and an interesting premise: everybody in the world passes out at the same time and has a vision of six months in the future. the first episode was interesting and gripping, but at the end, i was left wondering about next season. similarly to Heroes, it is revealed in this episode that the day everybody "flashed forward" to was April 29th, 2010. sounds like a season finale! but once we pass that date, will the tension be gone? also, if they kill off John Cho, i'm definitely not watching. but for now i'll stick with it.

that's it for now - and i don't know if there's anything new coming up this week - damn you, NBC! give me my 30 Rock!

Lauren's Helpful Guide to TV Premiere Season, Part I

Welcome to Lauren's Helpful Guide to TV Premiere Season. Each week for about the next month, i'll be combing through the TV premieres and helping you figure out what you should be watching. i know a lot of you don't have time to waste, so let me watch the shows for you and concisely break them down into three categories: must-watch, should-watch, and watch-if-you-have-time. some of the shows this week have been running for a little while already, but there's still time to catch up. feel free to add suggestions for next week's guide in the comments.

YOU MUST WATCH THIS SHOW:

Mad Men. it is astounding to me the number of people who still do not watch Mad Men. i was at a party and there was an adorable 20-year-old who looked like Paul Kinsey and i did not find a single person who got the reference. anyway, Mad Men is at the top of the MUST-WATCH list because it's like a miracle, on my screen, every week. this 3rd season just continues to improve on the aesthetically incredible, theme & plot-driven work that had already been established. as the characters evolve and grow in the world around them, the show gets deeper, funnier, and more empathic. if there is any show you should be watching, it is this one.

this clip is my favorite from season 3 so far...the singing and the competitiveness and the awkwardness of having to hang out with your "drug pusher"...all wonderful, but all eclipsed by the perfect, accurate, self-awareness of Peggy's ending statement:



The Office. this show is so consistent, constantly changing to expand the smaller players without losing the strength of the main characters (Michael, Pam, Jim, Dwight...Ryan?). the main reason why i have always preferred the US Office to the original (other than the original being excruciatingly uncomfortable to watch) is because of the supporting characters. Creed, Kevin, Phyllis, Stanley, Oscar, Toby, Angela, etc help give the show a little more complexity, and now that the show is in its sixth season (wow, that's kind of weird), The Office is less about five main characters and more about, well, the entire office and how the group interacts. i love how angry Kevin gets here:



Moral of the story: Keep watching! The Office is definitely still worth your time.

PS - Creed is amazing:
"if i can't scuba, then what has this all been about? what am i working towards?"


Glee. here's the thing - this show is as awesome as the hype. the cast is great (yay Jane Lynch!), the musical numbers are great, and it has heart, but the sharp wit keeps it from being too corny. however, it will be interesting to see where this show goes and if it can keep up its momentum. for now, however, it is MUST-WATCH.

you SHOULD be watching this show, simply to improve your quality of life:

Fringe. For those of you who don't know, Fringe was created by JJ Abrams, and his fingerprints are all over the first episode of the second season. he co-wrote this episode, so it's good to see that he's not just hands-off producing like it seems he did with Lost. Fringe owes a lot to The X-Files, and proper homage is paid to that show in this episode. i never watched The X-Files, but the overall concept of a department of the FBI being devoted to solving paranormal crimes seems similar. what is different is that there is less talk of aliens and more talk of alternate universes and parallel realities. last season was good, but it was a little slow to start up...unlike season 1 of Lost, where the lack of answers was balanced by revelations about the characters, Fringe created mystery after mystery with very few revelations about anything. however, this season provides both answers and character revelations while still building up the mystery. it's great. if you're new to Fringe, i would recommend going back and watching the last three episodes of season 1 if you don't have time to do the entire season. you wont be entirely lost, and season 2 will make much more sense. the cast of this show is great, especially the characters of Walter and Peter Bishop, played by John Noble (Denethor in LoTR) and Joshua Jackson (Pacey on Dawson's Creek). it's nice to have an intense, often gory scifi show that is also good for a laugh, and with Dollhouse also coming back for a second season, the nerd in me is feeling pretty satisfied.

Parks & Recreation. this show is another one that kind of got off to a slow, middling start. but don't give up on it yet, because the chemistry between the actors is getting much better as the show goes on. we all know about its similarities to The Office, and i think that the strength in this show is also embracing the minor characters. the comedy is strong here; the viewers just need to stick with it and let it develop. also, Chris Pratt is hilarious...and points for making me not hate Rashida Jones.




Community. this is a new show on NBC with Joel McHale, who basically everybody knows as the guy from The Soup. i have always thought that Mr. McHale was extra funny, and so i was excited to see more of him on screen. and guess what? Community is actually pretty good. it has Chevy Chase in a turtleneck! and John Oliver in a tiny car! i think there's a lot of places that this show can go; it's nice to see a sitcom with an actual premise, as opposed to a bad ripoff (Kath & Kim) or a one-note idea (Worst Week). i'll be sticking around to see some more funny. man, i love jokes about Shark Week.




if you have time, and are looking to clear your brain with fluff, watch this show:

Gossip Girl. the new season premiered this week, and as my friend Michaela said, "by the end of the episode, i still didn't really understand what was going on." i don't care about Dan and Vanessa's wealth issues, and i really don't care about Serena's daddy issues, which is what most of this episode was about. yay for Chuck and Blair, but i really think it's about time for Eric to stop being the fag to Jenny's hag and to get a decent storyline of his own. judgment? a good show to watch if the goal is to numb your brain, otherwise be prepared to be irritated, bored, and confused.

Project Runway. i love Prunway as much as the next person, but this season has been crazy boring. boring challenges, irritating judges decisions, and no Michael Kors since, like, the first episode! Kors is probably my least favorite judge, but being gone for so long means that he has no concept of how the designers are developing/their consistency, which will probably come back to infuriate me towards the end. the best part about this season has been so much Tim Gunn! but i weep for him and his skin cells.

America's Next Top Model. honestly, you probably shouldn't watch this show. this cycle, the "petite" cycle, is offensive to short people. Tyra's bordering-on-megalomaniacal narcissism has gotten even worse, and once they kicked off the "i used to be a crazy girl" crazy jesus girl, Bloody Eyeball is the most interesting contestant. and that's only because i'm wondering when she's going to depress her system too far with mood stabilizers and simply stop breathing. this show has gotten so out of control that this is all that i'm going to write about ANTM; if you want to read more about it (and see some awesome gifs), check out the blog FourFour.

so, that's it for this week. all of these shows (and their actual TV air times) can be found on Hulu and Sidereel. check back next week for rundowns of How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, House, Law & Order: SVU, Numb3rs, CSI, and Dollhouse.

why i need a Wingman

so, last night my friend was throwing a party. it was a fancy cocktail party, which usually i'm all about, but i didn't make it. why? i had no wingman.

now, i don't really need a wingman for romantic or sexual purposes (although after watching the episode of Dawson's Creek where Jen basically explains to Joey how she feels for Pacey i realized that it would have been really helpful to have Kate around during the romantic implosion i just went through), i need to have someone at a party i know that i can consistently talk to. someone who will come outside with me to smoke; someone who will back me up when i argue against playing beer pong; someone with whom i can commiserate if the people and/or party is getting lame. of my usual wingmen, one just moved away and the other was busy with friends from out of town. my roommate had a girl coming over and the friend i was chilling with and watching the Creek doesn't really drink and doesn't know any of the people who were at the party. so...no luck there.

the real reason to not go to a party alone is because i don't like to drink and drive, especially if i'm going to cocktail party where i know there will be gin that i want to drink. but in addition to that if i don't have a wingman to help me deal with the random girls from high school that i wish i didn't have to see all the time and to help me mask my social anxiety, i'm not going to try and find a ride or anything. i'm going to do what i do and stay home and make cookie-brownies and watch the Creek with a friend and then drink a little wine and take a bath and go to bed before 1 am.

in the meantime, i'm missing Kate and wishing i had a wingman like Barney (look for the hair-shake, it's the best part) :



if you're interested in flight suiting-up and coming out to play "haaaaaaaave you met Lauren?", hit me up. i am clearly in need of a good wingman.

...and charge it, please!

if anyone was wondering what extravagant gift they could get me, a night in the Eloise Suite is definitely it.


i mean, you can come too! we can eat eggs in egg cups and feed Skipperdee raisins and sklonk people in the kneecaps and lose our skate key. and travel up and down the elevators and hide in the ballroom light fixtures and make fun of debutantes and drink Nanny's pilsner and have an adventure in the bathtub and it will all be RAWTHER fabulous.

Dealbreaker: WoW

Sorry, ladies and gents. This I believe: I cannot date a gamer.

This comment thread on Jezebel had me facepalming all over the place. While I understand that some people use gaming the way I use podcasts, TV, or movies, it is not a culture that I find appealing or accessible.

As a fantasy fan, I can enjoy your orcs, your mages, and your general badass swordplay. But when "fantasy" involves hours on end of gaming, plugged into your PS2 or PC, roleplaying... well, that's a dealbreaker my friends.

In my world, the only acceptable gaming console is the Wii, and only because the Wii fit ski jumping is hilarious when drunk.